All alone in my pain
by writerchick4life
Summary: After watching clips of Sharon Watts and Dennis Rickman, I'm starting to like the pairing. This is a short one shot about Sharon's all consuming grief and pain without her soulmate.


All alone in my pain

Sharon can't take it anymore and feels lost without her soul mate Dennis. So she decides to write her husband a letter and take matters into her own hands. Possible character death. I know Sharon would never leave her and Dennis's son an orphan but just for drama.

Sharon sat on the edge of her bed, feeling numb and cold to everything and everyone else. In fact it has always been that way since Dennis-her adopted half-brother/husband/love of her life died in her arms on new years' a few years ago. She would never forget that night-him dying in her arms on the cold concrete…her crying for him. Sharon didn't see the point of moving on even though people kept telling her to. But did they lose someone they loved so bloody much, it hurt to imagine life without Dennis?

It had been almost eight years now and the curvy blonde still carried scars of that night and all the good times of her and Dennis together. She knew their relationship wasn't all sunshine and rainbows and they had their moments but she loved him-more than Phil or Grant or any other bloke she had been around the square with. They couldn't make Sharon feel the way she did around Dennis. Sharon decided what the hell and found a writing pad and a pen. Her words began to flow along with her tears…

_My Darling Dennis,_

_Hey babe, it's me Sharon. It has been way too long since you were cruelly taken from me when we were just getting started on our lives together. But you're ok now, I got Phil and Grant to go after those bastards who did this to you. I miss you so much I can't stand it. How can I move forward without you here with me? My heart is cold and numb without any feeling and it has been that way for seven and a half years. I'm sorry for all the times I treated you badly. I was a difficult person and so were you but through it all I loved you with everything. I can't walk around the Square or go to the Vic and see a happy couple and not think of you and the short but so blissful times we had together._

_I miss everything we had and everything about you. I miss your smile, your face, your hands touching me so sweetly, the way you kiss me and I miss how your body feels close to mine when we made love.__But I mostly miss how happy you've made me even though  
our time together was short. I wish you were here next to me right now, I miss  
waking up to you every morning and falling asleep in your arms every night. I  
guess the only thing keeping me sane is our baby who I named after you, even  
though he's growing up fast every day. I tell him that you would love him very  
much if you were still here but…that's just wishful thinking…_

Sharon wiped her tears as the flow of her words stopped for a minute. She was so blinded by despair and tears she couldn't make out the words on the lined white paper. Sharon exhaled as she put down the paper and pen-at a total lost for what to do next. She was so sick and tired of being without Dennis and for years now she had no choice but it was getting so hard every day. Every time she looks at Dennis Jr., she sees her husband. Sharon didn't want to admit it since people would assume she was crazy but she kept having this dream of when Dennis is there with her where he should be and not buried six feet under like he was.

Sharon stood up from her bed and stood in front of the bathroom mirror, her sobs getting more intense by the second. _I can't go on anymore. _Sharon thought as she looked at her tear stained face in the mirror's reflection. She sniffled as she looked through the medicine cabinet. Sharon searched until she found a bottle of pain killers in the back of the first shelf. _I'd rather die than be without him for another day. _Sharon told herself as she held the plastic bottle in her well-manicured hands. She decided to finish the letter, bringing the pills with her. Sharon picked up the pen and pad and continued where she left off.

_I don't hate you for leaving me when you promised me forever. Not at all. I hate those low life scoundrels who plunged that knife into your chest and took you away too soon. I love you more than anyone else in my life-even the Mitchell brothers. I wish you could see what your death has driven me to so maybe you can somehow come back and make everything better. But I know it can't. I can't go on like this darling, I just can't. I would give up everything just to see you again. Maybe that will come sooner than we both expected. Soon we will be together again baby. I promise.  
Yours forever,  
Sharon_

Sharon decided enough was enough, she was going to do it no matter what. She opened the bottle of pills and before she was about to swallow only one-her thoughts immediately went to Dennis Jr. What would he think if not one but both of his parents were dead. Would everyone see her as selfish? Maybe but at this point Sharon didn't care. _How many of these does it take for me to die? _Sharon pondered as she washed down the first three with a glass of water. Soon enough all of them were gone and Sharon was starting to feel drowsy-maybe they were starting to work. She laid back on the bed she used to share with Dennis and slowly she began to drift away from everything that was there. All alone in her memories…

**_The first time she and Dennis kissed and made love…_**

**_The day they got married…_**

**_All the good and bad times they shared together…_**


End file.
